The Amorous Arts



A scarce few LPs purport to expand one's horizons in, uh, concerns of the boudoir. Far from being a dirty little secret, they are at least funny, if not outright howlers. The least tasteless yet most preposterous of the bunch may be The Art of Love, an interpretation of The Kama Sutra. Sitar and other Indian instruments make it more exotic than erotic.

The best-known sex-ed lp is The Way to Become the Sensuous Woman, breathily narrated by performance artist "J" (who strips to tuba in the WFMU video, "Avant-Garde Showcase"). The lp and best-selling book meant to draw white and "uptight," middle-class housewives out into 1969's groovy world of free love. Uh-huh. Along the same lines but funnier is Helen Gurley Brown's yummy, sardonic Lessons in Love, a follow-up to her best-seller, "Sex and the Single Girl." The Groupies is a seamy confessional from New York City band flies, while Sex for Teens is like "Leave it to Beaver" on acid.

Original, nasty party rapper Rudy Ray Moore, a.k.a. Dolemite, brought to vinyl "The Madam," a woman without peer in the field of raunchy comedy and sex "instruction." Partly spoofing the tamer The Way to Become the Sensuous Woman, her raucous The Sensuous Black Woman sacrifices mainstream sales to tell it like it is from a "professional" viewpoint. Wilder still is "The Sensuous Black Woman Meets the Sensuous Black Man" by "The Prince and the Madam" -- the first side of The Rudy Ray Moore Zodiac Album. Naturally, Moore and his more musical but sinister peer, Blowfly, have plenty of their own to say about things otherwise left unsaid.

Buying: Only one sex-instruction LPs is common and even that one is absolutely essential. Everyone wants them. Buy any and all.



Stag & Sex-Instruction LPs

Rating
6Dr. Murray Banks Speaks on the Drama of Sex; Murmil Associates MB-104; 1960
8Helen Gurley Brown: Lessons in Love; GNP/Crescendo GNP-604; 1963
4Dr. Keith Cameron: Live with Love; Transatlantic/Reward TRA-101
7Dr. Frank S. Caprio: The Art of Sexual Lovemaking; Helicon ENT
6The Christophers: Christopher Recordings on Sex Instruction; RCA Victor custom (corny but funny but NYC LP for Christians)
6Billy Cunningham: Let My People Come OC; Libra 1974 (Green Menu GM-1980; 1979/1974; partly Moog)
6Stanley Z. Daniels, M.D.: Sex Explained for Children; Event/Carapan EV-5691 (CLP-1; Tumbleweed/Carapan CPN-1; 1972)
9Stanley Z. Daniels, M.D.: Sex for Teens--Where it's at; Event/Carapan EV-5693; 1969 (Tumbleweed/Carapan CPN-2; 1972)
7Stanley Z. Daniels, M.D.: Sex for Adults--Sex is fun, particularly when you're in love; Event/Carapan EV-5692 (Tumbleweed/Carapan CPN-3; 1972)
7Family Information Center: Sex & Your Daughter; Family Information Center FC-6610 (spoken; w/booklet; Chicago, IL)
7Family Information Center: Sex & Your Son; Family Information Center FC-6612 (spoken; w/booklet)
6Bob Gibson's Wife Talks About Sex; MCA/Uni KS-3632 (2-LP; spoken; may be unreleased--acetate exists; not sex instruction)
6The Groupies; Earth ELPS-1000; 1969 (prod. Alan Lorber)
9Shri Ben Hayeem: Song of Kama--the Hindu Rites of Love (Kama Sutra); Jubilee/Jay-Gee/Festival M-6701; 1966 (spoken)
6Pamela Hayes-Marshall: Memoires of Fanny Hill--Unexpurgated Dramatization of the Famous & Classic Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure; Recorded Literature RL-5 (2-LP)
7Xaviera Hollander: Xaviera!; Milidomo AR/MD-1378-NC ("The Happy Hooker" author)
7"Ilona" [reads]: The Erotic Delights of Lady C.; Fax FX-6004 (spoken w/some music)
8"J": The Way to Become the Sensuous Woman; Atlantic SD-7209; 1971 (based on the 1969 best-selling book; "J" is Connie Z.; jacket shrink may have "not recommended for air play" sticker)
8Saeed Jaffrey: The Art of Love (Kama Sutra); Vanguard VSD-79228; 1966
7Dr. Milton I. Levine & Melba Rae: A Child's Introduction to Sex; Wonderland 1459
6Art Linkletter Narrates the Story of Where Did You Come From; 20th Century Fox; TFM-3107; 1963
Dr. Rebecca Liswood: Hear How to Achieve Sexual Harmony in Marriage; Carlton Hear How Series CHH-28
6Dr. Rebecca Liswood: Hear How to Tell Your Children the Facts of Life; Carlton Hear How Series CHH-29
8"The Madam" (Lady Reed): The Sensuous Black Woman; Kent KST-012
9Rudy Ray Moore: The Sensuous Black Woman Meets the Sensuous Black Man; Kent KST-015 (w/"The Madam"; also released as The Rudy Ray Moore Zodiac Album)
8Chitra Neogy: The Perfumed Garden; Mercury/Pulsar AR-10600 (w/sitar)
6The Nympho Players: The Adventures of a Sensuous Woman [by "Z"]; Porno PR-501 (tacky ripoff of the LP by "J" rather than "Z"; notable for photo insert)
7Don M. Sloan, M.D.: The Pleasures of Love; The Life Workshop AL-4466; 1974 (deluxe 2-LP gatefold w/booklet)
6Urban Steinmetz: Steinmetz on Sex; Family Enrichment Bureau 70-5116; 1970
6C. Sumner Wemp: Love, Courtship, Romance, and Sex; Lynchburg Baptist College/LBC Productions 471N21 (Christian marriage advocacy)
7"Z"/Mort Garson: Music for Sensuous Lovers; Anthem 5800; 1971 (Moog/sex)


Uncredited Stag/Sex-Ed LPs (by Label)

Rating
7The Lustful Sexlife of a Perverted Nympho Housewife; Audio Stag A-1001 (extremely tacky, misogynist, absurd series)
7Fornicating Female Freaks; Audio Stag A-1002
7Sensuous Women & Men Together; Audio Stag A-1003; 1971
Tortura No. 1--An Evening with the Marquis de Sade; Bondage
6Tortura No. 2--An Evening with the Marquis de Sade; Bondage BRLPM-6900
8Making Love--The Album that Makes Love to You; Cream of the Crop 4954; 1976 (funky!)
Shaft Man; Funky Finger (not to be confused with a same-named, later funk singles LP that borrows from it; parent label likely Audio Stag)
6Sex Love Story; Funky Finger 1006; 1971
6Midnight Cowpoke; /Funky Finger 1007; 1971
8The Adventures of Barbara; Kontact Vol. 1
9Sonny & Sis/Mary Loves Lori; Kontact Vol. 2
7Three's a Crowd/Suburban Circus; Kontact Vol. 3
8The Sensuous Listener, Volume 1; Librec GRA-193; 1975 (for lonely ladies)


Partly Stag/Sex-Ed LPs

Rating
8The Duke of Burlington: Flash!; Wah Wah WLP-003; 2000 (reissue comp of their 2 LPs; Latin & psyche elements; "L.S.D.")
8Norman Habel/Richard Koehneke: For Mature Adults Only..; Fortress Records/MosAnn Enterprises/Bob Mosley BM-768; 1968 ("Michelle"; spoken w/music; w/Corky Hale--harp & voice, Joe Newman, Eric Gale, Chuck Rainey, Martin Luther High School Choir..; soul-jazz vocal, funky gospel, harp, kid funk, sex ed, strange religion)
7Louise Huebner's Seduction Through Witchcraft; Warner Bros.-Seven Arts WS-1819 (spoken w/music--"cybernetic!" by Louis & Bebe Barron:)
6Kreskin: The Basic Principles of Kreskin's ESP; Shelby Singleton SSS International LP-100; 1976 (spoken; "The Sex Detector")
8Dr. Timothy Leary: Turn On, Tune In, Drop Out ST; Mercury MG-21131 (sitar/veena, Moog, voice; Performance PERF-389; film never released)
7Cledus Maggard: Two More Sides; Mercury SRM-1-1112; 1976 (Jay Huguely; "What Are They Teachin' My Boy Floyd?")
->Kay Martin & her Body Guards -- see torch
8Mason Rose, Ph.D.: How to Be a Potent Male; C. & L. Institute (Side 1 on sex; Side 2 on fitness)
6Sounds Nice: Love at First Sight; Motown/Rare Earth 512; 1970 (organ/funky rock; "Continental Exchange")
7Roger Hamilton Spotts: Tongue ST; Chocolate Cities CCS-1000; 1975 (funk/sex/blues/Moog)
7Jean-Claude T.: The Bicentennial Poet; CBS/Philadelphia International PZ-34246; 1976 ("Nude & Next to Nature Theme")


[Partly] Sex/Sex-Ed 45s

Rating
8Uncredited: Helga (4 versions) & Telephone Rotary/Intermission Lobby (2 versions each); American International Pictures 6807 (promo spots for AIP film "Helga")


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